When I first saw the trailer for this movie, I was excited because there has never really been a mainstream queer film that addresses the actual difficulties that people face when choosing to come out and why we sometimes choose not to. From the moment I heard of it, I knew this movie was going to be revolutionary, groundbreaking, a game-changer. But it wasn't until I saw the film that I realized just how much of an impact it would have, not just on the queer community, but on anyone who has felt they had to keep a secret from the people in their life they care for the most.For anyone who has seen the movie, it's probably fair to say that you were at least tearing up, if not crying, by the end of the film. And though this film is one that you can connect and relate to no matter you sexual orientation, I definitely feel like it hit home for those of us who had experienced these exact feelings before and that seeing them finally being portrayed in a happy light in mainstream media made us so happy that we could just not hold back the tears. And if this is a journey that you have gone through or are even going through right now, you know exactly what I am talking about. And for those of you who have no idea of what it feels like to hide such a big part of yourself from the world, this movie is one that you need to see because I have to say that I have never seen a better representation of the struggles of coming out shown better anywhere else.
Because the movie starts out with Simon narrating about his normal life, normal, friends, and normal family, we get to know Simon as just another normal kid passing through high school like the rest of us. But with his secret of being gay, we learn that Simon is still the same normal kid he has always been, he just happens to like men. That is one of my favorite parts of the story. The fact that his sexuality is made into a huge, life-altering thing. It's just another part of who he is as a person, an that is all we want to be seen as, normal people living normal lives who just happen to like people of the same gender.
Another part of this movie that I loved was its normalization of queer relationships in the mainstream media. If you do not know what it is like to be a queer person trying to find yourself accurately represented on screen, let me explain. As a queer person, I have struggled for years to find characters and story lines that I could relate to, scraping the bottom of the barrel for any show, movie, or web series with queer characters in them. Even if there was only one gay character in the show and he was your stereotypical fashionista gay guy and he did not even show up until the third season of the show, I would still watch it because even though it may be bad representation, it was still something. When you are queer and struggling to come to terms with your sexual identity, you will settle for even the smallest, worst representation because of how desperate you are for any kind you can get your hands on.
Though not the most important part of the film, one of my favorite parts had to be the witty banter between the characters. From Simon be drunk off his ass and singing at the top of his lungs, to the savage remarks made by out gay kid at Simon's school to his fellow peers who bullied him, it's safe to say that this is a movie that will make you laugh until you can't breathe.
But this movie isn't all laughs and giggles as it does deal with a subject that can sometimes be difficult to talk about. Though it does deal with this rather serious topic, it comes across as very natural and real, almost as if it wasn't even people following a script. Which is another reason I love this movie: nothing feels forced. The banter between the kids actually feels like it was meant to be exchanged between two people in high school, rather than some filed attempt by an adult to be hip and use modern lingo, or whatever the kids call it these days.
(SPOILER ALERT) There are a few hard to watch scenes in this movie, but one of the hardest I think is when Simon's emails with a closeted gay kid at school are leaked onto the school's blog. In this scene we see Simon slowly unravel as this very private thing about him is leaked on the internet for everyone to see. Along with that, Simon is also worried that this boy that he had been chatting with, who he later professes to love, will stop talking to him when he finds out the emails have been leaked. Tears come to Simon's eyes when his greatest fear comes true and the boy he is in love with, Blue, cancels his email account, cutting off all connections with Simon. And even though we can tell that his friends are worried about him, texting and calling him, he does not answer because all he is worried about is the boy that he loves possibly never speaking to him ever again. Though this scene is relatively short, it manages to convey so much heartbreak that you cannot help but tear up, concerned about what Simon plans to do now that his secret is out there for everyone to see.
Another heart-wrenching moment in the film is a scene that comes soon after this when Simon is driving to school and he runs into his friends, stopping to talk to them. As it turns out, his friends seem to have gotten over their concern for Simon, and have instead opted to think about how Simon's actions over the last few months has negatively impacted their lives. And rather than being worried about what Simon might be going through at the moment they, in my opinion, sort of turn into selfish assholes. And I have to say that, when I first saw the film, I was surprised and upset at his friends for behaving the way they did. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that what Simon did was right, I am just saying that his whole world is literally falling apart and his friends are upset because he kept them from dating for a few months? Now Leah's point I can kind of understand, like she was heartbroken because she was in love with Simon and to find out he never saw her that way really hurt. I get it, but at the same time it just felt wrong that the friends would abandon him because they had to wait a little longer to date. That was the one thing that I did not like about the movie.
The most heart-wrenching moments in the movie are the conversations that Simon has with his parents after coming out to them. I am more specifically talking about the conversation between Simon and his mom. What his mom said really stuck with me because it is honestly something that I needed to hear when I was figuring myself out. Not to mention, it perfectly describes what it feels like to keep a secret like that to yourself for so long. It's like letting out a breath that you had been holding in for so long you had forgotten you were still holding it, and now you can breathe again. And the way that she tells Simon that he is still the same kid he has always been just really tugged at my heartstrings because that is something that people often fail to understand when someone comes out to them: they are still the same person they were before, it's just now you know the truth about them.
And finally, who can forget the incredibly heart-warming and romantic ending to this beautiful love story? At the beginning of the story, a closeted gay kid anonymously posts something on the school blog, describing that he feels like he feels like he is on a Ferris wheel, one minute on top of the world and then next at rock bottom. So, since this is the post that started the relationship between him and the mysterious Blue, Simon only sees fit that this is how it should start in person. So Simon makes a not-so-anonymous post on the same blog professing his love for him, telling him that if he wants to be with Simon then he will be on the Ferris wheel at the local carnival. As Simon goes round and round, all hope seems to fade with each loop of the wheel. Until, Blue shows up revealing his true identity. He gets on the ride with Simon and when they reach the very top they kiss. In this moment you can't help but cheer for Simon and the boy he loves as they have finally come together.
As I walked out of the theater I thought 'this must be how straight people feel after seeing every Nicholas Sparks movie ever'. I felt as though I was walking on air I so happy. I must have been in some state of euphoria, so happy to finally see a story like mine unfold on screen. I remember wiping the tears away from my eyes as I tried to process what I had just seen. Looking back on it, seeing this movie was one of the happiest moments of my life. While that may seem like an exaggeration, it is very much true. And I hope that this movie will inspire those who are unsure about coming out or are still trying to figure everything out to have the courage to be true to who they are, if not now, then one day. I also hope that this movie will inspire people to create more stories like this in the media, realizing just how important accurate representation of queer people really is.
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