"The Other Place" Reminds Us Why We Tell Stories

    When I went to go see the play The Other Place at The Shed in New York City I must admit that I was only really going to see Emma D'arcy act in something other than House of the Dragon. But, like many others, I was surprised by what I saw. It was something that, despite the awareness of the trigger warnings like sexual assault and suicide, was darker and more impactful than I could have ever anticipated. I honestly don't know how to fully encapsulate what I saw and how it makes me feel, even now, but I will do my best. Spoilers incoming.

    Our story, based on the greek tragedy Antigone, starts out with two sisters reuniting ten years after their father committed suicide. Their uncle Chris plans to scatter his brother's ashes in order to move on, but Annie, the oldest of the sisters, insists that the ashes stay in the house as she is not ready let go just yet. As arguments ensue, it becomes clear that Annie has long struggled with severe mental health issues, with accusations being thrown around that she must be off her meds to be thinking this way. However, when the uncle leaves to go talk to his new wife about all of this, Annie sneaks over to the urn holding her father's ashes and proceeds to empty them into a plastic bag and hide the bag in her pants. After her uncle leaves to scatter the ashes, as he is unaware they are missing, Annie proceeds to go through her father's old things that Chris was just planning on throwing away, going upstairs to sleep with them so as to rest from her long journey. 

    When the uncle comes home, furious because he knows that Annie has taken the ashes, he insists she come downstairs at once. When she comes downstairs in her father's clothes and calmly sits down at the table, asking how the scattering went, Chris proceeds to physically attack Annie, even reaching into her trousers looking for the ashes. Leni, his stepchild, puts an end to it when they admit they saw the ashes sitting upstairs when they went to wake Annie up. For what she did, Chris bans her from the house. While everyone protests, Annie proceeds to set up an old tent of her father's outside so she will have somewhere to sleep. After more arguments over how unreasonable Chris is being and to show a little empathy to someone who is so clearly grieving the loss of their father, he decides to take the ashes and go for a ride. By the time Annie makes it back inside he is gone and she is distraught at losing her father all over again. It is also revealed earlier on that she was the one that found him hanging from a tree in their backyard. That even when he was alive, she helped him with his extensive mental health problems as well. 

    Worrying for her sister, Issy, the younger of the two, goes outside to check on Annie. But when she can't find her, she calls the emergency services, fearing the worst. When Annie appears behind her she screams, startled, and hangs up the phone with a sigh of relief. They sit down and talk, mostly making sure Annie is okay. Though it is rather clear that she is not, the subject curtailed as Annie hands Issy a notebook listing little memories of their father from when they were young. Issy thanks her for the gift and they hug. Just as they pull apart, Chris returns home, ashes in hand. He orders Issy to go upstairs and she does. 

    The ensuing conversation between Annie and Chris reveals a dark truth that both of them have been trying to hide for many years. They have an incestuous relationship with one another, which is revealed to Chris' wife when she catches them kissing. When Leni comes down to see what all the yelling is about, Erica attempts to hide the truth from her child, insisting that everything is fine. But after Annie tells Issy that she's okay with them scattering the ashes, Erica implores Issy to see the truth that has been sitting in front their eyes the entire time. Issy grows angry and calls Annie selfish for always making everything about her and never considering how anyone else must be feeling. Issy leaves to scatter the ashes. Annie runs after her with tears in her eyes telling Issy she loves her. But once she is gone, she leaves to go outside to her tent stating "I can't feel him anymore" in reference to her father's presence finally being gone from this house. Leni goes to check on Annie only to come back with blood on his hands. Issy returns and everyone but Chris runs to the tent. Chris, instead, turns to the audience yelling "Don't look at me" over and over until the music makes it impossible to hear him.

     Having had my own experiences with grief, mental illness, and sexual assault this story reached me on a very deep and personal level. After the actors did their final bow, I felt an undeniable change in myself. I was not the same person I was when I had walked into that theater. The story forced me to think about my own experiences with these subjects and the importance of addressing them as they are often topics that people, understandably, avoid. 

    What forced me to think about such things wasn't just the sad, emotional acting. It was also the humor scattered throughout the play, the overwhelmingly loud and jarring sounds, the spirituality of feeling someone's presence even after they are gone, the symbolism of the ashes being passed back and forth between Annie and Chris like an object when they both view them as a person. All of these things and more is exactly what I love about this story. Everything feels real. It gives me hope for the future of theatre and storytelling in general. We must continue to tell stories like these to remind people they are not alone. 

    

    

O'Dessa-An Underrated Masterpiece

    When I sat down to watch this film the other night with a friend all I knew was that it was about a farm girl, played by Sadie Sink (Stranger Things), who travels to a broken down city in a dystopian future in search of her father's guitar. But little did I know that I had no idea what I was really getting myself into. This movie is like if you took The Hunger Games and The Running Man (1987) and made them into a punk acid trip about fighting with the power of song instead of in an arena to the death. I know, wild right?                                  

    

    In full honesty, this movie is crazy. But that is exactly what it's meant to be. Not everything that is made these days is supposed to be an Oscar contender and that's okay. It's fine to have movies that are just entertaining and that is exactly what this movie is. Yeah it's crazy but it knows and fully embraces that. Yet I have seen many reviews criticizing this movie. Saying it's "all style and no substance" to claiming the "plot is all over the place" in that it never decided what it really wanted to be. While I can stand behind some of the nitpicking surrounding the plot, I must disagree with the rest. Yes this film is very visually stunning, but that does not take away from the story being told, it only enhances it. As for the plot, this movie knows exactly what it is: a musical romance about the power of love and the hope and light that music can bring into people's lives when they have all but given up in a dark and dreary world. And yes that kind of plot is going to inevitably create a cheesy, quirky, and sometimes all out odd film. But that does not make the film bad. On the contrary, if a plot like this is fully embraced within the story it only adds to the fun. Thankfully the one thing most people could agree on was the quality of the music, the key element to the film. 

    Thirteen original songs were composed and recorded for this film by Jason Binnick (Patti Cake$) and Geremy Jasper (Florence + The Machine: Dog Day Are Over (2010 version). Jasper also wrote the script for and directed the film. While Binnick and Jasper had worked together in the music department on previous projects, none of them had been quite like O'Dessa from the star-studded cast to the different styles of music interwoven throughout the film. From folk to rock to punk, they created songs for everybody. 

    While I will not be able to break down every song from the film, I will cover some of my favorites.This includes The Song (Love is All) and Ramblin' Down The Road. The first is a folk song about O'Dessa's destiny to save humanity through the music that flows through her veins and conveys the main message of the film: that there is NOTHING in this life is more powerful than love and the hope that music gives us to fight our way out of the darkness. Ramblin' Down The Road is another folk song O'Dessa sings on her way to the big city about following in the footsteps of her father and his father before him to bring hope to people with the music she sings by, you guessed it, ramblin' down the road.

    In order to avoid giving away anymore spoilers, I will tell you no more. Except to encourage you to check out this movie for yourself. If you are a fan of the power of music, The Hunger Games, Sadie Sink, or post-apocalyptic musicals then this movie is for you. Even if you don't like any of these things, I would still encourage you to watch this film because you just might be surprised. You never know, you might enjoy it. I know I did.

    

    

    

    

    

    

Youtuber Jessie Paege Addresses Eating Disorder in Powerful New Single 'Skeleton'

On Friday January 17th, Youtuber Jessie Paege dropped her latest single 'Skeleton' in which she voices the fight and struggles that she's had to endure with eating disorders. The Youtuber has addressed this in previous videos, claiming that she has suffered from Anorexia and Bulimia, among others. According to Paege, overcoming these disorders is the single hardest thing that she has ever had to do. Speaking from personal experience, I can assure you that she is not exaggerating. And while I cannot honestly say that this is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through, it is certainly close to the top of the list.

Like with her last two songs, 'Not a Phase' and 'Phantom', in this powerful new single, Paege has not only expressed her own experiences, but has also helped give so many of her fans, myself included, hope that whatever struggles they may be dealing with are only temporary and that they will get through this. 'Skeleton' really makes you stop and look at what you're going through. It's the kind of song that forces you to face your demons and everything else that you have been pushing down and avoiding because it's easier to ignore a problem than it is to face it. While I don't usually look for that, and in fact actively avoid it, in the music I listen to, this song was different because it didn't just make me look my demons in the eye, it made me want to do something about them. This song makes me want to get better. Instead of staying in my little comfort zone, it makes me want to stop dragging my feet and keep fighting to the point where, when I look in the mirror or at pictures of myself, I like what I see. This song makes me want to put in the work to get back to the point where I feel good about myself and how I look. So, while the song itself may not have given me the strength to keep going and get better, it definitely makes me want to find that strength inside of me much more than I ever did before.

So if you, or someone you know, is struggling, whether it's with an eating disorder, addiction, mental health, or if they are just in a bad spot right now, please have them listen to this song and, if they're up for it, watch the music video as well. I promise you they are both equally powerful and will give you the hope that, while you may not have it now, you will find the strength to get to a better place where you feel good about you're life and who you are and what you look like. 'Skeleton' is truly a unique song. An anthem that will make you cry tears of joy at finally being understood and will help you find the strength over and over again to overcome even the most seemingly immovable obstacles.

You can now stream the song for free on Spotify or buy it on iTunes. To watch the music video, go to www.youtube.com/jessiepaege.

How Hayley Kiyoko is Changing the World of Pop

Hayley Kiyoko in an interview with Nylon magazine.

I recently went to a concert of the up and coming pop star and, though I am biased being a fan of hers, I have to say that the experience was the most fun, energetic and interactive concert that I have ever been to. It was held in the Theatre of the Living Arts in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania and anyone who knows that place knows it is a rather small and intimate setting with no seats. In other words, it was total mosh pit. We were all about an inch away from the people around us, at most, so there was very little wiggle room to move around. None the less I did my best to dance and sing along to the music (as it was very hard not to). With everything from songs about being in love with women to songs about her struggle to accept and love herself before she came out, Hayley Kiyoko delivered a performance that was both entertaining and moving, no matter your sexual orientation. That is one of the most incredible things about Hayley is that, despite her songs being mostly about loving women, or the fact that her fans have dubbed her ‘lesbian jesus’, she does not let her sexual orientation define her as a person. Yes, she is a lesbian with a largely queer fan base, but that does not make her any less human. She has flaws and hard times and can struggle be herself and love who she is and she expresses that in her music, telling her fans, no matter who they love, that it’s okay to struggle and sometimes you need to take some time to figure yourself out and that’s okay.

She also displays the message of being true to yourself and respecting yourself and the importance of loving who you are despite what anyone else may think through her music videos. By being involved in every single aspect, from writing the songs to directing the music videos, she is proving to be a woman who is not content with just lingering in the background, but prefers to be the one making the decisions. The stories that she tells through these music videos give hope to the lgbt+ community that songs about loving women, or just someone of the same gender, will become more common and maybe even be normalized in the world of pop music. In fact, simply by coming out with this album, that process of normalization of same sex relationships in songs has already begun. For example, in her most recent music video, she collaborated with pop artist Kehlani, who also happens to be an out queer woman in the competitive music industry. By doing this she is normalizing relationships between women more and more everyday. I do not know about other people within the community, but I have to imagine that they would agree with me in saying that when I watch that video, I don’t just see a friendship that blossoms into a romance over time. I see two out and proud women of color living their truth no matter what other people may think of them and their relationship. Because that kind of thing is seldom shown, if at all, in a world where people judge you just because of who you love seeing it is a relief for those of us seeking representation in an otherwise male-dominated and heteronormative world. Through her music, she shows us that at our cores we are all the same. We all want the same thing: to be loved. Some of us just have different ways of going about achieving that goal and there’s nothing wrong with that.

By being her authentic self, Hayley gives us all hope, regardless of our sexual identity, that it does get better and maybe one day we will be able to feel the same way about ourselves as she does. She gives us hope that it will get better, that our dreams are achievable and we are not being stupid or ridiculous for having them. And in the end, isn’t that all that really matters?

'Love, Simon'-More Than Just Another Coming Out Story

When I first saw the trailer for this movie, I was excited because there has never really been a mainstream queer film that addresses the actual difficulties that people face when choosing to come out and why we sometimes choose not to. From the moment I heard of it, I knew this movie was going to be revolutionary, groundbreaking, a game-changer. But it wasn't until I saw the film that I realized just how much of an impact it would have, not just on the queer community, but on anyone who has felt they had to keep a secret from the people in their life they care for the most.

For anyone who has seen the movie, it's probably fair to say that you were at least tearing up, if not crying, by the end of the film. And though this film is one that you can connect and relate to no matter you sexual orientation, I definitely feel like it hit home for those of us who had experienced these exact feelings before and that seeing them finally being portrayed in a happy light in mainstream media made us so happy that we could just not hold back the tears. And if this is a journey that you have gone through or are even going through right now, you know exactly what I am talking about. And for those of you who have no idea of what it feels like to hide such a big part of yourself from the world, this movie is one that you need to see because I have to say that I have never seen a better representation of the struggles of coming out shown better anywhere else.

Because the movie starts out with Simon narrating about his normal life, normal, friends, and normal family, we get to know Simon as just another normal kid passing through high school like the rest of us. But with his secret of being gay, we learn that Simon is still the same normal kid he has always been, he just happens to like men. That is one of my favorite parts of the story. The fact that his sexuality is made into a huge, life-altering thing. It's just another part of who he is as a person, an that is all we want to be seen as, normal people living normal lives who just happen to like people of the same gender.

Another part of this movie that I loved was its normalization of queer relationships in the mainstream media. If you do not know what it is like to be a queer person trying to find yourself accurately represented on screen, let me explain. As a queer person, I have struggled for years to find characters and story lines that I could relate to, scraping the bottom of the barrel for any show, movie, or web series with queer characters in them. Even if there was only one gay character in the show and he was your stereotypical fashionista gay guy and he did not even show up until the third season of the show, I would still watch it because even though it may be bad representation, it was still something. When you are queer and struggling to come to terms with your sexual identity, you will settle for even the smallest, worst representation because of how desperate you are for any kind you can get your hands on.

Though not the most important part of the film, one of my favorite parts had to be the witty banter between the characters. From Simon be drunk off his ass and singing at the top of his lungs, to the savage remarks made by out gay kid at Simon's school to his fellow peers who bullied him, it's safe to say that this is a movie that will make you laugh until you can't breathe.

But this movie isn't all laughs and giggles as it does deal with a subject that can sometimes be difficult to talk about. Though it does deal with this rather serious topic, it comes across as very natural and real, almost as if it wasn't even people following a script. Which is another reason I love this movie: nothing feels forced. The banter between the kids actually feels like it was meant to be exchanged between two people in high school, rather than some filed attempt by an adult to be hip and use modern lingo, or whatever the kids call it these days.

(SPOILER ALERT) There are a few hard to watch scenes in this movie, but one of the hardest I think is when Simon's emails with a closeted gay kid at school are leaked onto the school's blog. In this scene we see Simon slowly unravel as this very private thing about him is leaked on the internet for everyone to see. Along with that, Simon is also worried that this boy that he had been chatting with, who he later professes to love, will stop talking to him when he finds out the emails have been leaked. Tears come to Simon's eyes when his greatest fear comes true and the boy he is in love with, Blue, cancels his email account, cutting off all connections with Simon. And even though we can tell that his friends are worried about him, texting and calling him, he does not answer because all he is worried about is the boy that he loves possibly never speaking to him ever again. Though this scene is relatively short, it manages to convey so much heartbreak that you cannot help but tear up, concerned about what Simon plans to do now that his secret is out there for everyone to see.

Another heart-wrenching moment in the film is a scene that comes soon after this when Simon is driving to school and he runs into his friends, stopping to talk to them. As it turns out, his friends seem to have gotten over their concern for Simon, and have instead opted to think about how Simon's actions over the last few months has negatively impacted their lives. And rather than being worried about what Simon might be going through at the moment they, in my opinion, sort of turn into selfish assholes. And I have to say that, when I first saw the film, I was surprised and upset at his friends for behaving the way they did. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that what Simon did was right, I am just saying that his whole world is literally falling apart and his friends are upset because he kept them from dating for a few months? Now Leah's point I can kind of understand, like she was heartbroken because she was in love with Simon and to find out he never saw her that way really hurt. I get it, but at the same time it just felt wrong that the friends would abandon him because they had to wait a little longer to date. That was the one thing that I did not like about the movie.

The most heart-wrenching moments in the movie are the conversations that Simon has with his parents after coming out to them. I am more specifically talking about the conversation between Simon and his mom. What his mom said really stuck with me because it is honestly something that I needed to hear when I was figuring myself out. Not to mention, it perfectly describes what it feels like to keep a secret like that to yourself for so long. It's like letting out a breath that you had been holding in for so long you had forgotten you were still holding it, and now you can breathe again. And the way that she tells Simon that he is still the same kid he has always been just really tugged at my heartstrings because that is something that people often fail to understand when someone comes out to them: they are still the same person they were before, it's just now you know the truth about them.

And finally, who can forget the incredibly heart-warming and romantic ending to this beautiful love story? At the beginning of the story, a closeted gay kid anonymously posts something on the school blog, describing that he feels like he feels like he is on a Ferris wheel, one minute on top of the world and then next at rock bottom. So, since this is the post that started the relationship between him and the mysterious Blue, Simon only sees fit that this is how it should start in person. So Simon makes a not-so-anonymous post on the same blog professing his love for him, telling him that if he wants to be with Simon then he will be on the Ferris wheel at the local carnival. As Simon goes round and round, all hope seems to fade with each loop of the wheel. Until, Blue shows up revealing his true identity. He gets on the ride with Simon and when they reach the very top they kiss. In this moment you can't help but cheer for Simon and the boy he loves as they have finally come together. 

As I walked out of the theater I thought 'this must be how straight people feel after seeing every Nicholas Sparks movie ever'. I felt as though I was walking on air I so happy. I must have been in some state of euphoria, so happy to finally see a story like mine unfold on screen. I remember wiping the tears away from my eyes as I tried to process what I had just seen. Looking back on it, seeing this movie was one of the happiest moments of my life. While that may seem like an exaggeration, it is very much true. And I hope that this movie will inspire those who are unsure about coming out or are still trying to figure everything out to have the courage to be true to who they are, if not now, then one day. I also hope that this movie will inspire people to create more stories like this in the media, realizing just how important accurate representation of queer people really is.

How Sara Lance Saved Queer Representation on TV

For those of you who don't know who Sara Lance is, she is a superhero known as the white canary who travels through time to help save the world. She also happens to be bisexual. And, according to a list on advocate.com of 52 queer superheroes and villains, she is the first LGBT superhero to appear in a mainstream TV show. While that may seem amazing, the best part about the way they write her character isn't that she is bisexual, it is that her sexuality is not even close to the most interesting thing about her. She became an assassin, working for a group called 'The League of Assassins' after surviving a shipwreck off the coast of the island of Lian Yu, which is apparently mandarin for purgatory.

As you may have guessed by now, Sara Lance is currently my favorite character on television. I relate to Sara on a personal level in many ways, one of which is obviously because we are both bisexual women who have a preference for women. Another is that we often tend to close ourselves off from the people closest to us because we want to handle whatever we may be going through on our own. But once they confront us about it, our walls come down and our emotions come out in such a raw and honest way. It is nice to finally have a character that I can really relate to on such a high level.


Starting out on the CW show, Arrow, and then moving on to Captain a time ship in the hit show, Legends of Tomorrow, Sara Lance is nothing less than extraordinary when it comes to showing the physical, mental, and emotional strength of women. The actress who plays Sara, Caity Lotz, once said in an interview, "I've had so many girls who are bi, or lesbian or just not sure say how much it means to them to be able to see a character on TV that's like them, and to see that and go, 'Oh look, OK, I'm not weird, I'm not messed up, this is normal.' And to have that representation on TV and what it means to them has been the best thing about this character [Sara Lance]. If you don't understand it, that's what makes you afraid. And the fact that we don't make it this big thing about who she is - it's not like, 'Oh, the bi girl'. It's just one thing about her, and that's the way it should be handled."

Dear Evan Hansen

A couple of weeks ago my parents and I spent the day in New York City and the highlight of the day was definitely when we went to see the musical Dear Evan Hansen. Filled with intense subject matter, incredibly moving songs, and three dimensional characters, this musical is one for the history books and truly has something in it for people of all ages. The musical is about a young high school senior with severe social anxiety who, after the suicide of one of his classmates, makes up a huge lie about how he was best friends with this kid who had killed himself just to feel like he belongs somewhere. Like most people, Evan just wants to feel like he belongs and that his life is actually worth living. This is one of the many reasons that this musical is so important because it reminds us all that, no matter what we are going through or struggling with, our lives and what we do with them matter. This musical also emphasizes the effect social media has had on younger generations, especially on how it negatively effects our abilities and desires to experience the world through something other than a computer screen. Which causes us to spend more and more time wasting our lives away in front of a screen and forgetting to live. Another thing that I loved about this show was its realism. It doesn't try to sugar coat any of the issues that it addresses, making for a very emotional experience. I found many parts of the show much more relatable than could have ever really expected. Like Evan's struggle to make friends and just general fear of interacting with people he didn't really know that well, or at all. Another relatable idea in the show, that has probably gone through most people's heads at once, is the thought of wondering how life could possibly be worth living if such horrible things, like losing the people you care about, happen in it. Though I have never been suicidal myself, I have often wondered why life is often so difficult. Though I still don't have an answer to that question, I feel reassured, remembering that every life matters, even mine.